? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
