Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
