What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I want her autograph on my taint
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
