Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
