Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
