You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize