I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
