I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
