i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My feet surprised me
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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