I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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