I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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