Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
