Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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