Sry I called you an 8
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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