Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
