girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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