I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
