At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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