Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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