she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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