i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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