and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she peed on how many people?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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