I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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