I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
