I think i peed on brittanys purse
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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