I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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