you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
