Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
