I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's never too late to be topless.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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