What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
