Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
