I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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