The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize