I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize