I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
