I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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