I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
