I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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