I think scott just propositioned me for sex
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
