I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He did a backflip because drugs
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
