Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize