You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just want to make out with him forever
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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