There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
