are you still at the devil's house?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Watching her eat just hurts me
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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