there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
50% drunk capacity currently
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
