Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
