As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize