Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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