he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
