i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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