Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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