my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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