Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize