So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
