How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize