i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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