Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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