my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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