Sry I called you an 8
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
